How do I teach my kids about generosity?

14 Apr, 2025

Teaching kids about money can be messy and imperfect. Join Amy – our Communications Manager – as she shares her learnings.

A few months ago, something my seven-year-old said made my heart sink:

“I’m going to give the least to my give money box.”

We’d been talking about pocket money, and he was excitedly planning how to split his earnings between his three money boxes: spending, saving and giving. I didn’t want to make him feel guilty about his choice – the Bible tells us that giving shouldn’t be done reluctantly and God loves a cheerful giver (2 Corinthians 9:7).

But I’ll admit, I felt a little disappointed that generosity wasn’t his first response to dealing with money. The dreaded mum guilt hit, and I felt responsible – I must not have been modelling this enough to my son.

A few days later, we were talking about how he could use his spending money for the canteen. He didn’t quite have enough for a lunch order, so he suggested taking some from the giving money box since he’d be “giving” the canteen money in exchange for food.

Okay, so I was a little impressed by his problem-solving skills, but once again, I felt that niggle of mum guilt that I’d failed to teach him how to be generous.

The practice of generosity

As I continued to think through these conversations with my son, I was reminded that generosity is something we need to practise – like a muscle we need to strengthen.

Even as an adult, being generous is not always easy, and sometimes our selfish motivations can get in the way of being a cheerful giver.

It can be in our nature to look out for ourselves first and if there’s something left over, then maybe we can give to someone else.

Since those initial conversations, I’ve tried to be more intentional in talking to my son about why it is good to practise generosity.

We’ve talked about how as followers of Jesus, He wants us to show kindness and generosity to others, just as He’s been kind and generous to us.

We’ve talked about how everything we have has been given to us by God, and we can show our thankfulness by sharing with others.

We’ve talked about how there are many ways we can donate money to help people in need and how different people feel passionate about different causes.

We’ve talked more about why we sponsor children from other countries, and why we give money to our church.

I wish I could say I’ve been incredibly articulate, inspiring and encouraging in these conversations – but that would be a lie.

Sometimes, I’ve fumbled my way through them. Sometimes, my son has been disinterested, nodding politely (or impatiently) along while his mind is clearly elsewhere – thinking about his latest soccer game or the next snack he’s going to eat.

But even though our conversations have been messy and imperfect, I can see how God has worked in both of our hearts.

A change in heart(s)

The last few times my son has received pocket money, he has cheerfully decided to give the most to the give money box – completely unprompted!

One of those times, I even had to gently remind him that it is okay to put some in the spend and save money boxes too, as he was planning to put all of his pocket money in the give money box from now on.

Practising putting money aside to give away really had helped him want to do it more!

A few weeks ago, he asked me where he could donate the money he’d collected in the give money box. Previously, he’d used it at school fundraisers, but over the holidays, he’d accumulated a bit more and wanted to do something different. We talked through a few options, and he chose to buy a charity gift card of a chicken and give the rest to our church.

My heart swelled seeing his pure joy at showing generosity to others, and I’ve been so encouraged that the impact of his giving has continued to be on his mind. He’s asked lots of questions about the chicken, and he’s already thinking about his next donation!

I have been reminded that it’s okay to not have all the answers – because I can ask for help from the One who does. It’s okay that my words aren’t perfect, and I feel at a loss in parenting at times – because God can still use my weakness to work in the hearts of my children.

How’s that for an antidote to mum guilt?

Words by Amy Millar.